Feelings vs. Truth

In my absence from the blogging world these past week or so, I have been under a great deal of stress with things that are completely out of our control. However, even when we know that they are out of our control...they can still take control of us.

As hard I fought against the stress of the situations, the discouragement and minor depression began to creep in. Add the fact that we didn't see sunshine in Arkansas for over 2 weeks due to rain, rain, rain and very dark, dreary days...my mood was getting very dark.

When I get this way, I don't want to talk to anyone but of course, life continue to move on whether you do or not. You will be put in places and situations that you HAVE to put on a "happy face", smile, talk, laugh and act like all is well with the world...when in fact...IT ISN'T. I find myself doing this and hiding behind a "happy face" so the world doesn't know my business.

If you have never allowed a situation of life to control you, discourage you or cause you to enter into some level of depression...then, you might take your loved ones actions personal when they are not meant to be. When we are with our loved ones, our family, in our own home...we tend to be ourselves without the phony facade. If your loved ones don't understand what you are going through...they might be offended by your actions or lack of.

By Friday, I wasn't smiling but functioning day by day. When I was alone, I was deep in thought and the war was raging in my mind between what I was "feeling" and the truth.

I went to Jonesboro to take my oldest son, Brandon, his jacket and shirt he left at the house earlier in the week and this gave me plenty of time alone to just think.

During this entire "dry" time in my life, I have filled my mind with praise and worship music, prayer and some reading of the Word. I can't focus very well during this time to spend much time reading...so, I don't. I would go to bed at night with my iPod playing through my headphones...filling my sleep with praise and worship music. However, I would wake up the next day in the same "funk" as I went to sleep in.

Driving back from Jonesboro, I had a notebook with me, so I wrote down words that described how I was "feeling" that very moment. I started to scan the page and post it but too lazy to go do it...so, here is what I wrote down. As I was writing the words down on the left side of the page of how I was feeling, my thoughts would immediately go opposite and I wrote these down on the right side of the page.

Physical vs. Spiritual...Feelings vs. Truth

Beat down / My joy comes from the Lord

Great sadness / My hope is in Him

Overwhelmed / I put my trust in Him

Defeated / When I am weak, He is strong

Angry / Be angry and sin not

Hurt

Anxious / Be anxious about nothing

Minor Depression / I am more than a conqueror

Doubtful / Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean
not unto your own understanding

Tired & Drained / I will give you rest

Alone / I will never leave you nor forsake you

Emotionally dry / He is the fountain of living water

As my flesh was screaming out my weaknesses, my spirit was screaming out the Truth...God's Word.

Did I immediately feel better? No!

I sought the advice of a very dear friend, wise counsel, godly person that afternoon and they confirmed what I already knew. That there will be times in our lives that we go through dry spells, when we feel alone, that God is not there, when our prayers aren't being heard, when we feel there is no hope for our situation BUT, that is not the TRUTH. The truth is...God is actively working in my life, my family, my situation and He is still right there by my side and at times, He is carrying me when I am to weary to walk on my own.

This time, I didn't feel that my prayers weren't being answered or that God wasn't there with me but, I knew I was in a dry season. This is the biggest difference that I've seen in this time and other attacks from the enemy in the past.

It was confirmed to me that I knew the truth and I was refusing to buy into the lies of the enemy during this period of my life. Now, I just have to wait until my flesh grabs a hold of the truth.

By the way, I am feeling much better starting on Saturday. I still have my "quiet" moments but the joy of the Lord is returning to my flesh.

Nehemiah 8:10b
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

II Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Psalm 39:7
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Hebrews 13:5b
God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

John 7:38
Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Please pray for me as the stress has begun to affect my heart again. It is skipping beats more frequently and makes me tired easily.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

It Goes Up, Down and Eventually, Levels Out Again!

What is it that does all this? Well, there are probably several things that you can think of in your life that does this, but for me....

It's the storms....swells of the sea
It's the emotions...anger, joy, panic, disbelief and peace

After having a really bad Monday and Tuesday this week, I was determined when I woke up yesterday morning to make the best of what I had to work with and be content.

I absolutely loved working outside all day. I think that I got more work done than I normally do inside. :-)

There is just something so invigorating about being outside in the fresh, cool, crisp fall temperatures with a slight breeze. The breeze was so gentle and my papers stayed put on the table. I am thankful that I didn't have to weigh everything down or chase papers all over the backyard. That might have taken the joy out of being outside, huh?

I was settling into my contentment mode and making great progress on my paperwork...until the bad news came.

I received news yesterday that was a total blindside. Immediately the discontentment, fear, panic, anger, disbelief...all rose up inside me...all at the same time.

You see, we have been cruising along over the past two years with only a few slight bumps in the road of life. We have been challenged with some situations but God worked them all out and we moved on with life.

As we have watched many people that we know suffer with life and different situations...we have been moving along peacefully, praising God for our blessings and seeing what we could do to help others. Being thankful that it wasn't us for a change. We were under attack of the enemy for 7 years straight. It thought many times that I would lose my mind if we didn't catch a break.

Finally, two years ago...the swells calmed down and it was a smooth, calm sea that we were sailing on...finally! The winds picked up a time or two that made small waves but no real storm manifested itself from it. Again, we were so thankful that God was seeing us through and we were finally catching our breath.

The enemy had been silent now for about two years and he loves to give you a false sense of calm in your life. One that if you aren't careful, could become prideful...like..."look how well I'm doing", "look at us and what we have", "see how I am taking care of my life, family and business". That is another way for him to trip you up because we are nothing without Christ. We are nothing without Him and never will be.

There was always a slight thought in the back of my mind saying from time to time..."when is the enemy going to pull a surprise attack", "when will he blindside us", "I know that he hasn't forgotten about us" but, I thanked God for His provision and protection on our family, dismissed the thoughts and went on with life.

Yesterday, the attack came in the form of a blindside...it was totally unexpected and without warning. We didn't see it coming at all. Were we too comfortable in our lives? I don't think so. We were prideful in our thinking that we were causing all the good that was coming our way? Absolutely not. Were we nieve in thinking that the attacks weren't on the horizon? No, because I knew as long as we were serving God...we had a target on our lives and he would attack again.

So, what do you do when it comes? My emotions went right back up after calming down to settle in on contentment yesterday, the panic set in immediately..."what are we going to do?", "how should be handle this" and so on...my mind was racing. I am the emotional one and my husband is the calm one.

I called him and told him about the bad news that we received. He calmly said "I'm not going to worry about it until I know more about it. We need to call and see what this is all about". He said "I can't tell you not to worry because you probably will anyway, but I am not".

I stepped back, took a deep breath and prayed.

God, you are bigger than this news, this situation. You haven't brought us this far to leave us now. Your Word says "no weapon formed against us shall prosper, the plans that you have for me is to prosper and not to harm me, plans of hope and a future" and you also said "that the enemy intended to harm me with this attack but God, you will use it for my good". I am trusting You, Lord to handle this situation, guide us in the direction that You would have us to go and give us peace in the midst of the storm.

Today, I will be working on a game plan for this situation. I don't believe in being stupid, ignoring a problem and not researching all my options ahead of time. I will be fully prepared for the counter attack and will march forward in power and in might with God leading the way.

This too shall pass! Watch and listen to this beautiful song that I just found...wow!




I can't imagine living one day without Jesus Christ in my life. I don't understand...how do people make it day to day, in the world that we live it...WITHOUT JESUS CHRIST in their lives? Who do they cling to in the storms, who do they cry out to in the night, when their in pain, when the pain in so unbearable and they...... don't have the answers. WHO? HOW? I can't imagine a single day without JESUS CHRIST IN MY LIFE!!!

Isaiah 54:17 (Message)
But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Genesis 50:20 (Message)
Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now--life for many people.

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Peace, Peace, Wonderful Peace Coming Down From The Father Above!

My heart is still burdened today for my loved one but I am feeling better. The past two days have been very, very emotional days for me. I spend most of the Monday crying and working. It is very difficult to see the computer screen, adding machine numbers or my papers through so many tears but I got it done.

Yes, crying at times does make you feel better but it didn't lighten my load of burdens that I was carrying. It didn't take much for me to start crying...just thinking about my life, family, children or future, looking at a friend's pictures of her telling her son goodbye when they dropped him off at college, a song...just about anything started the flow of tears yesterday.

The good thing is that I slept very well the past two nights and awoke with a fresh peace of God in my heart both mornings.

I spent nearly all day Monday in prayer...while driving, working, cleaning, cooking and showering...I was praying for my loved one and for myself to be able to handle it, for wisdom, guidance and peace. All of this comes only when you fully trust Jesus Christ and allow Him to do the work that needs to be done.

This loved one knows the Lord as their personal Savior and lives for Him, however, life is difficult and others can be cruel...making life miserable at times or difficult, at best. There are times in our lives that we feel lost, alone, isolated or just out of place in life. You are serving your Heavenly Father but you still feel alone. I know that feeling because I have felt it many, many times in my life. This is why it hurts me to see another person suffering at the hands of others. You can't control the other people and you are only responsibile for your own actions but that doesn't mean that you won't get hurt in the process. My nature is to protect others whether they are my children, my friend's children, my friends, family members...older than me, younger than me or my age. My claws come out when I see someone hurting someone that I love. I get angry and very protective. Then, the saddness kicks in when I have to accept that I can't do anything to help them in the physical, but they have to deal with it in their own way and in their own time. My helping them in the physical would only make matters worse, most of the time. However, there is a very fine line that I have drawn when it come to my own family as to how much I will tolerate others doing to my immediate loved ones. I have to step back and look at the situation through prayer and try to calm down. All I can do is pray for them, plead the blood of Jesus over them and ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide them.

Matthew 11:28-30(28)

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. (30) For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."

Lord, I come to you today and I lay my heavy burdens at Your feet. I will walk with You, praise You and thank You for carrying my burdens for me. I thank You that Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light.

I will rest in You, Lord as You cover me with Your peace. Your Word promises me that if I lay my burdens down at Your feet and take Your yoke upon me that You WILL give me rest. I claim this promise from Your Word over my life today.

Teach me Your ways, Lord so that I can continue to walk and live in Your peace. Unrest will rob me of the fullness of Your peace, job and happiness of life. Therefore, I choose to lay it down today, at Your feet and walk away knowing without a doubt that You will carry it and take care of the situations that have caused such a heavy burden in my life.

In The Precious Name of Jesus, Amen!

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

~Food For My Thoughts Today~

The past week, I have been consumed with thoughts of the future for our country, our lives , our family and our future.

On Monday, Roger and I were talking about the Social Security information that you receive each year a couple of months before your birthday. It is sad to see what you "might" draw when it is time to retire at 62 after working for so many years. But, they make looking at retiring at 65 and 70 more appealing because your benefits go up at 65 and just about double at 70.

Who wants to be working at 70 years old? I don't and I don't want Roger working at 70.

We sat outside that evening and began talking about retirement. Roger will be eligible to retire in 8 years...yes, 8 very short years. Roger can retire the year that Tyler will graduate college if he goes 5 years instead of 4. Wow...that shocked both of us when we realized how close it really is.

Then, the next day was the 20th anniversary of my sweet Daddy's death at the age of 63. He never got to retire and travel the country with my mom like they had planned for so many years.

All of this has weighed very heavy on my heart all week. Add the state of this country, financial crisis, Social Security benefits in jeopardy, Wall Street destroying all your invested retirement funds and the age of people dying younger and younger everyday....well, let's just say...has overwhelmed me.

Are we financially ready to retire? Will we remain healthy to see our retirement years? Will we get the opportunity to grow old together? We will be able to retire and not have to work some type of job to suppliment our Social Security benefit check (if there is one by then)?

I needed to take time this morning on my day off to get in the very presence of the Lord, cry out to Him, ask for His guidance, His peace, His hope for our future and I prayed He would lead me to the encouragement in His Word that I needed this morning.

This is where He lead me to:

Jeremiah 29:11For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD , "and will bring you back from captivity. (NIV)

My devotion said: For every individual, every life, God has a plan for the future. God has given you a future. Don't drop out of life for any reason. With Him, your best days are yet to come-better than you can think or imagine.

Ecclesiastes 4:6
Maybe so, but I say it is better to be content with what little you have. Otherwise, you will always be struggling for more, and that is like chasing the wind. (NCV)

When it come to evaluating your life, God's scales weigh differently than yours. Seeing through His eyes, the smallest things can bring you the deepest joy. When you embrace your life just as it is, you can lay down the struggle for what might be or might have been. You can feel the blessing of contentment that, for this moment, your life is the perfect starting place for the next step in the journey.

Philippians 4:11
I have learned to be content with whatever I have. (NRSV)

Having what you want and wanting what you have. It's amazing what a difference the order of those simple words can make. What a gift it is to feel that sense of enough, to not always be thinking more, to believe that God has given what you truly need. As I focus today on the pockets of my life that I "wouldn't have any it any other way", I whisper a prayer of thanks.

As I am meditating on God's Word...I am listing to Jeremy Camp...WALK BY FAITH.It is a choice to fret, worry and dread the future or we can WALK BY FAITH...trusting Jesus Christ to do what is best for us, our family and in our lives. His plan is always perfect and He has already been in our tomorrows...He sees over the hills and around the curves. I am choosing to trust Him today.

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

~You Are My Everything~

As we sang this chorus tonight in church, the words of this song dug deep into my spirit. He is everything to me!

Until the world stops turning
Until the stars fade from the sky
Until the sun stops striving
I need you in My life and here's the reason why

Chorus:

You are the love of my life

You are the hope that I cling to

You mean, more than this world to me

I wouldn’t trade you for silver or gold

I wouldn’t trade you for riches untold.

You are, you are my everything

I began to ask myself the following questions and my spirit was troubled:

• If you are my everything, you are all I need, you are the love of my life ~ then why when I'm in need, do I not tap into your supply, Lord?
• Why don't I always act like you're my everything and totally depend on you with complete trust to take care of me, my family and the situation?
• Why do I put you on the back burner, on a shelf or in a box sometimes when things are going great in my life?
• But, yet when a crisis arises or a situation that is bigger than I am comes up~ I come running to you.
• Why can't I get beyond the my mental limitations of what I can imagine that you are able to do and get into the spiritual realm where nothing is impossible for God?

I know that He is my everything, He supplies all my needs according to His riches, He will not put on me more than I can handle~so what is my problem?

I honestly can't answer that tonight. I know that I'm not the only one who suffers from this mental handicap but I don't want to remain handicapped~I want to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually healed in these areas, not get discouraged, not lose my focus, not retreat from the front lines of the battle against the enemy~but, to step up my prayers for those that are heavy on my heart, step outside my box, be used my the Lord in the areas that He leads me and to be stretched by Him. That is my prayer today.

Job 42:2
"I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.(NKJ)

Philippians 4:19
And with all his abundant wealth through Christ Jesus, my God will supply all your needs. (GN)

I Corinthians 10:13
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it. (Message)

Ephesians 3:20
Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--(Amplified)

Do You Know What Really Happens?

Do you know what really happens when a partial birth abortion is performed? Well, I had heard about it before but never really investigated it until this election.

Brace yourself for the pictures below!

This is what is done to a baby at 23 weeks...how cruel, horrific and this is MURDER...I don't care how you try to justify it.

Partial Birth Abortion

To see additional, more detailed images of partial-birth abortion, and documentation from medical experts on the accuracy of these images, click here.

Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby's leg with forceps.

The baby's leg is pulled out into the birth canal.

The abortionist delivers the baby's entire body, except for the head.

The abortionist jams scissors into the baby's skull. The scissors are then opened to enlarge the hole.










The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child's brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then removed.

Letter from Anthony P. Levatino, M.D., J.D., former abortionist, explaining that the images shown above "accurately depict" the partial-birth abortion method, and that "the images are size-appropriate to a fetus of approximately 24 weeks gestation." -- March 4, 2003

These were found at:

http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/pba/diagram.html
http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/pba/PBA_Images/PBA_Images_Heathers_Place.htm

This is another accurate depiction of a Dilation and Evacuation of a 23 week fetus in a partial birth abortion

This one was found at: http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/pba/DEabortiongraphic.html

I know, there are times when a doctor will give a patient devastitating news about their unborn child and their prognosis of pending death...but...is there anything to difficult for God to heal if it is in His plans?

Jeremiah 32:27
"Behold, I am the Lord...Is anything too difficult for me?

If you are in doubt...please read this young mother's blog...from beginning to end. You will then see the amazing, mighty and all powerful...healing God that we serve. God knows your baby before he/she was formed in your womb and He knows every step that your child will take through their life...no matter how long or short that life might be.

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ (Couldn't get button to work & I'm tired & it's late)

Not everyone has a happy ending to their pregnancy regardless of the prayers that you pray or the ones that other pray for you...but God has a plan. He can touch people, bring them to the Lord through your tragedy and your child can minister to lives and never live to be two days old. Which is exactly what happened through Selah's singer...Todd Smith and his beautiful wife, Angie. Please take the time to read their story and God's amazing grace and plan for little Audrey Caroline's very short life. God has done amazing things through her precious little life. As well as Todd's sister and brother-in-law in the death of little Luke Sponberg at only 10 weeks old to SIDS. But yet, God has used his little life to touch so many people. This family lost two precious babies within just a couple of months of each other.

• http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ (Couldn't get buttons to work here either & it's late)
• http://www.thelukesponbergfoundation.blogspot.com/ The Story of Baby Luke
• http://www.stringofpearlsonline.org/PearlsStory.html - Another story of God's amazing grace...the story of Pearl. From this site you can read more testimonials from other families. I just discovered these a few minutes ago.

So many people have no idea what a fetus looks like from conception to birth. They think that the fetus is a "blob of stuff" but let me tell you for a fact that I know these babies have fingers, toes, fingernails, ribs and all the parts that make up a baby from just a few weeks post conception. You might ask "how do you know?"...well, let me tell you!

I have worked for OB/GYNs for 25 years and my present and my former employer are pro-life. They are both very strong Christians. Dr. W (former) got the fetuses from pathology from other patients who miscarried from 8, 12, 16, 24 and 28 weeks. They were preserved in formaldehyde and put in jars so he could show women who were contemplating an abortion that these were babies...not masses of tissue and blood. It changed so many ladies' mind who would have aborted their unborn babies.

Watch this slideshow of a fetus and it's growth.

http://www.medicinenet.com/fetal-development-pictures-slideshow/article.htm

Having said all of this to say...who are we or who are the doctors to play God and decide when a life should end. Just because the doctors say that there is no hope...God said there is always hope in me. That is just one of the reasons that abortion is wrong...we(mothers) or them (doctor) are playing God and we/they are not qualified.

Seek God's face before casting your vote on this election day, November 4, 2008.

God has burned this into my heart tonight. It is late but I have to get this posted if it changes one mother's mind on abortion or changes one vote on this historial election day.

Will the innocent blood of these babies be on our hands as well, if we vote for the wrong candidate and more abortions are performed?

Added note on Saturday, 9:20 AM.

I just went over to Tea With Tiffany and read her POWERFUL letter about her personal experience with abortion to Mr. Obama. Please go over and read it...you will be forever changed. Click here to view her letter.

Do Not Lose Heart

2 Corinthians 4:16

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. (The Message)

I love how the Message Bible puts this verse..."not a day goes by without his unfolding grace"!

Wow!!!

Each one of has experienced trials and troubles in our lives and in our families...if you are alive and breathing...you have been there. So many times, we feel like we can't go on, can't put one foot in front of the other, can't utter another prayer, can't get out of bed and/or just don't want to.

We have felt at times...Why should I keep trying? Why should I care anymore? Does anyone even see that I am hurting or do they even care?

Can you relate to one of these times in your life? You might have experienced more than one...I know that I have.

• If you are having financial troubles, setbacks...it is not the end.
• If you have been lied to and deceived...it is not the end.
• If you have lost your job...it is not the end.
• If you have lost your home...it is not the end.
• If you have been a victim of robbery, identity thief, home invasion...it is not the end.
• If you have a child who is entangled in sin...wrong relationships, failing according to life's standards, refusing to communicate with you or your family, on drugs and/or alcohol or involved in homosexuality...it is not the end.
• If you spouse has walked away from your marriage, chosen someone else over you...it is not the end.
• If you have lost a loved one to death...whether it is a sudden death, suicide or a long illness...it is not the end.
• If you have been in jail or a family member is in jail...it is not the end.
• If you or your family member committed a horrible crime...it is not the end.
• If you have lost or are losing your sight, hearing or even a limb...it is not the end.
• If you have a disabling illness or disease...it is not the end.
• If you are in the depths of depression, battling depression or chemical imbalance that is affecting your way of thinking, feeling, reacting and your relationships...it is not the end.
• If you have learned that you have a terminal illness...it is not the end.
• If you have done things in your life...past or present when you acted foolishly and are mortified by what you did...it is not the end.
• If you are nearing death's door...it is not the end.

It might seem like the end, you might wish it were the end...BUT it is not the end because God is God, He is in control and the end has not come yet...not until God says "this is the end".

We must have faith in our Heavenly Father, trust Him in ALL things and lean on Him completely.

Hebrew 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

I don't know who this is for today but I felt that someone needed to hear this. Be blessed today and you trust in Him.

Itty Bitty, Tiny...From His Perspective

You have learned so many different things over the course of your life, you have been taught so much in Sunday School, Children's Church and in "big" church...but...sometimes God turns on the light bulb...just a little brighter for some and 200+ watts brighter for others (like me).

I was praying and asking God to speak to me again through His word because of some situations that we were going through that we completely out of our control. I felt the Lord remind me of where we were last year and what He promised me back then, still applies today.

Last year, 2007, was one of the worst years...it was a year full of financial attacks of the enemy, job related stresses, no family time, investment property issues, deadbeat tenants and so much more.

During those times, I felt like I was lost in the sea of stress...bobbing up and down and each time I come up....seemed like the enemy pushed us back down with another attack. I would only have enough time to grab a quick breath of fresh air and then it was down under again.

This was an ongoing thing over the past several years. The enemy tried to beat me up, make me blame myself and/or my husband, tell me the best thing to do was to just run away...leave it all behind and go. The darkness would sweep in like a fog, only it was very black and oh, so lonely.

On December 18th, 2007, I started looking again in Isaiah because God really spoke to me the week before in Isaiah 61. I stopped and started in several places...reading a few scripture in this chapter and then in that chapter. I turned to the back of my old Bible, my old faithful, King James version from childhood....there was a note that I had written one that said "Be renewed...Tap into God's strength...Isaiah 40:28-31. I read 28-31 and then went back to read the entire chapter.

Isaiah 40:28-31
(28) Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. (29) He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. (30)Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; (31) but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (NIV)

I got to verse 10 and 11...I thought about God going before me, his provision for my needs and his protection as my shepherd. Wow! But then, I got to verse 12 and it hit me hard! I read it over and over...I continued reading the chapter but my eyes were repeatedly drawn back to verse 12.

(10) See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. (11)He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Verse 12:
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?

I began to think about that and meditate on that one verse....then other verses came to my mind:

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 18:35
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.

Psalm 138:7
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

Psalm 139:10
...even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

I began to thank God when I think about the awesome size of his hands...(really, I can't even begin to comprehend it) and the size of my problems. He goes on to say in the verses that follow different comparisons of things we can understand (ie. mountains, dust, nations) to the size of His hand...like in verse 15...

Isaiah 40:15
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they are fine dust.

He weighs the islands as though they were fine dust....WOW! If the islands are "as fine dust in his hands....then my problems are so tiny that you couldn't even see them with a microscope. All that brought the assurance that NOTHING IS TOO BIG FOR GOD, that nothing is impossible for God and he holds me in the palm of His mighty hand because I am His child and with Him...we will make it!

He reaffirmed to me today that if He said it in the Bible, confirmed it to me in December '07, then it was just as good today as it was then. He let me know that I can REST in Him, for He will take care of me and my family. He will do the same for you!

Amazing Grace

Grace

Grace

God's Grace

Now, that is truly amazing.

What does grace mean?

I love this definition in the Unbridged Dictionary for GRACE:

Theology.
a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

When God pours out His favor, His grace on you...you experience what it means to be in the state of grace....being in God's favor...one of the elect.

ELECT:
Theology. a person or persons chosen by God, esp. for favor or salvation. (Jennifer's interpretation is...hand picked by God...means you are special to Him!)

We have been praying and trusting God in an area of our lives for the past year. We are at a time in our lives that we need a plan of escape. Back in June, we felt led to go in a certain direction in this situation. It seemed like it was the plan of escape that we needed, however, it was not the way that I had been praying for. It took me several weeks to come to terms with this new and different direction because it was not the way that "I" wanted. It was not the "desire of my heart" and I had to resign myself to the fact that God sees the big picture and knows what is best for me rather that is best for my pride.

When we came to the fork in the road, we turned left because we felt that was the correct direction. I don't think that we missed God but I think God wanted to see if we were willing to lay down our pride and follow Him...no matter which direction that He was leading us.

We must have passed the test of willingness to obey in spite of our own feelings because a week ago, God said "STOP!"

We stopped in our tracks, continued to pray for guidance, had our close friends praying with us for God's favor in this situation.

God said "make a U-turn...NOW!", go back to the fork in the road and go in the direction that would have been a right turn in the beginning.

We were obedient.

God is faithful.

Last night after returning home from a shower at church, we got the answer that we were praying for in my inbox of my email. We still had questions and I asked those questions last night...all the while...praying for God's favor in this situation. When I got up this morning...the answers were there again...in my inbox of my email.

Praise The Lord!

God is Faithful!

We have a few small hurdles left to clear but God willing...it will be another prayer prayed, answered and turned into another testimony of God's amazing grace. We will continue to pray for God to clear the way until everything is signed, sealed and delivered on October 24th.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)

WHAT AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR A DAUGHTER TO RECEIVE FROM HER HEAVENLY FATHER FOR HER BIRTHDAY...OCTOBER 20TH. I don't mind if it is 4 days late:)

We are nearly the end of our Isaiah 61...The Year of the Lord's Favor...2008 and God has faithfully honored His promise in 3 of the 4 areas that we have been believing God for. The last one seems to be impossible to the human mind but I know that "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD!"

Luke 1:37
For nothing is impossible with God." (NIV)

We are praying for a loved one to return to the Lord, commit their heart to Him, serve Him and be used mightily by Him. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!! Please agree with us in prayer that this will happen.

My prayer is to keep them physically safe and beyond that..."Break them, Lord! Whatever it takes."

Where Are You?

Are you having doubts today that Jesus is hearing your cries? Are you feeling defeated? Are you sinking and you feel like no one cares? Are you starting to have doubts? Are you feeling discouraged today?

If you can answer "yes" to any of these questions...just remember this:

Jeremiah 32:27
"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

We all know the answer to this question regardless of your circumstance today. The answer yesterday, today and forever will always be "NO"...there is nothing to difficult for God.

Here are just a few of the miracles that Jesus performed when He walked on the earth. Read them, study them and let Jesus speak to you today.

Jesus performed all these miracles just by speaking to the situation that was at hand. If He could do it then, don't you think that He can still do it today.

• Cloud by day & pillar of fire by night (To Guide You)...Exodus 13:17-22 (vs. 21,22)
• Parting of the Red Sea...(Way of Escape)...Exodus 14:13-31 (vs. 21,22)
• Manna and Quail...(His Provision...Food)...Exodus 16:1-34 (vs. 14,15)
• Drinking water from a rock...(Meeting Your Needs)...Exodus 17:1-9 (vs. 6)
• Jesus walks on the water and bids Peter to come to Him...(Faith in Him)...Matthew 14:22-33 (vs. 28-31)
• Jesus heals the leper...(Healing)...Mark 1:40-42
• Jesus calms the storm...(Peace & Faith)...Mark 4:35-41 (vs. 39), Luke 8:22-25 (vs. 24,25)
• Feeding the 5,000...(Meeting Your Needs)...Mark 6:32-44 (vs. 42-44) and John 6:1-14 (vs. 11-13)
• Healing of the deaf-mute...(Healing)...Mark 7:31-37 (vs. 35)
• Drives out evil spirit...(Deliverance)...Luke 4:31-36 (vs. 35)
• Woman with an issue of blood...(Healing & Faith)...Luke 8:43-48 (vs. 48)
• Raising up a dead girl...(Faith)...Luke 8: 49-56 (vs. 52-54)
• Water to wine...(Provision)...John 2:1-10 (vs. 9,10)
• Blind to see...(Healing)...John 9:1-7 (vs. 11)
• Death of Lazarus...(Faith)...John 11:1-44 (vs. 41-44)
• Resurrection of Jesus Christ...(NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE)...Matthew 28:1-10

There is not a single thing that is going on in your life that God cannot change in an instant!

But, we have to pray, give it to Him, leave it there and let Him take control of the situation.

When we give it to Him, it is not our battle to fight anymore but it is His.

Let Him do what He is longing to do today...help you, lead you, guide you, provide for your every need, make a way for you, take your pain away, lift up your head, put joy back in your heart...BE LORD OF YOUR LIFE!

Hebrews 13: 8

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Hebrews 13:5

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you"Whatever is troubling you today that is out of your control, take it to the Lord in prayer...make your request known to Him.

Philippians 4:6,7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition (definite request), with thanksgiving, present your request to God. (7) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Have a blessed and restful weekend.

Jennifer

Standing On God's Promises

2007

Emotional

Discouragement

Doubt

Fear

These are just a few words to describe 2007 for our family. I can honestly say that it was one of the absolute worse years of my life.

It was full of attacks from the enemy and I allowed fear, doubt, discouragement and depression to take up residence in my life.

When it seemed like things could not get any worse...they did. I have never felt so defeated, hopeless and could not control one thing that was going on in our lives.

BUT...I will never forget December 13th, 2007...it was the day that the momentum of our lives changed and the sun began to shine again.

In my desperation, I was praying that morning...crying out to God in my pain and asking Him to speak to me through His Word. I began to thumb through my Bible...I stopped on numerous passages but nothing was speaking directly to me. I refused to give up and kept searching God's Word.

I turned to Isaiah 61 and in the NIV...the heading for this chapter was "THE YEAR OF THE LORD'S FAVOR"....I stopped immediately and began to read. This was when I felt the Lord speaking deep into my spirit...peace, hope and excitement began to fill my spirit. Yes, there was an ounce of doubt that the Lord was really speaking this passage to my family for the upcoming year....2008. So, for me....when in doubt...seek confirmation from the two wisest people that I know...Pastor Rusty and Dorinda. (Love you guys!) I texted Pastor Rusty and asked him if I could pray this passage over my family for 2008...I don't trust my interpretation of the scripture very often. He immediately texted me back and said..."Yes and you should...I will agree and pray the same prayer for you guys!". I emailed the same question to Dorinda the same day.

Then...the excitement really set it!!! Out of the entire chapter of Isaiah 61...these are the verses that we have been standing on for nearly a year.

The Year of the LORD 's Favor

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.... 7 Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. 8 "For I, the LORD , love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them. 9 Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

There was hope and a promise for the coming year...God was in control and He would work all things out for His glory in His time.

BUT...it wasn't until the next day that I received this email from Dorinda that I began to REALLY shout...here is her original email:

Jennifer!

awesome ! that is amazing...

last night before i went to bed i was praying for you. i did not hear an audible voice but i knew God was speaking to me to send you an email about the power of praying the word ..... and after talking to you the other day about 2008, Isaiah 61 was on my heart!

any way - here is what went through my head last night as i was praying for you....

Hebrews 4:12 says -
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thought and attitudes of the heart.

The KJV says quick and powerful

The part about the double edged is what I want to get at. On one side it fights the devil. The enemy cowers when we SPEAK the word of God. He knows he cannot begin to battle that power.... It was the spoken word of God that created the universe and that cast the enemy from the portals of heaven to where he is now. The spoken word of God is powerful when fighting the enemy. That is why it is so important to not only read and meditate on God's word but to speak it out loud. The enemy cannot read our minds. He shivers on what he hears out of our mouths.

The other edge of the sword is where the power of meditating and reading God's Word comes in. From one side we fight the enemy- from the other side we clean ourselves up. Rusty's blog on Tuesday I think dealt with that. But God's word penetrates to our soul and spirit and circumcises our heart.... as the Bible says - that just means it helps us to crucify our flesh.

So - when you read Isaiah 61 and you get to verse 7 - that says "instead of their shame my people - Roger and Jennifer W - will receive a double portion and instead of disgrace Roger and Jennifer will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the lord, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity (robbery of people not paying their rent). In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them! Tell the devil out loud what God's word says. Shout it at him. Then meditate on it every day. This is God's promise to you! I am so glad God gave you this verse before I had a chance to share it with you, because now you know that God promised this Word to YOU.

Throughout the Bible we are told to meditate on God's Word (think about and repeat over and over again to ourselves) pray God's Word ( the only way we can be sure to pray according to the will of God) speak God's Word (like Jesus did when he was tempted to be discouraged - spoke it out loud to satan)

remember also verse 10 in the rough times: I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoice in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.....

Jennifer, God is raising you up to be a warrior. I know you are tired of fighting the emotional and spiritual battles, but I see the warrior spirit in you. God sees time so much different than we do. He is infinite and we see time through our finite beings. Time for God is just like this line below

________________________________________________

He looks down and sees the beginning as well as the ending and all the points in between. He sees your good times and your rough times, but ultimately He sees your rejoicing in heaven for eternity. That is how He works all things for the good of those who love Him.

That is why placing our trust in Him is so vital. Trusting Him when we are tired and worn out. Trusting Him when we feel all is going down the tubes. Trusting Him when we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Simple trust. He has promised you victory - so tomorrow, if it brings worse news than yesterday, you can trust in Him.

The other scripture I have been praying for you and Roger is Psalm 25. The whole chapter deals with asking Him to show His ways and teach His paths. It is my most favorite chapter in the whole Bible. I probably read it about 10 times each week.

love ya girl! you are a precious friend. i love you dearly and am so thankful you consider me to be your friend.

dorinda

2008 has been a wonderful year full of promise, excitement, renewed hope, strength and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Please pray with us for my meeting at 11 AM tomorrow as I meet with two investors from California who are in town to purchase investment property. They will be looking at all 11 houses to take over. Please pray for favor with V and J and a workable deal that both parties will be happy with.

Tomorrow could be the answer to the prayers that we have been praying for since last year and the promise from December 13th, 2007 of Isaiah 61 coming to fruition.

Have a blessed day and rejoicing in Him!

Jennifer

Personal Attacks Against Your Family

Before I get into the healing that came from a total of 3 years counseling with Pastor Rusty...things had to get worse before they could get better. The attacks of the enemy didn't stop because he saw that I was trying to get the help that I needed but he wanted to kick me while I was down.

I had my days when I cried out to God..."are you there? do you care that we are going through yet another attack? why is this happening? what are we doing wrong? why are you not stopping this mess?" I have been so sick of battle after battle...I just want to catch a break...I wanted to just coast for just a little bit. Is that too much to ask??? I wasn't angry with God because this was all happening but bewildered because He was intervening and stopping it. I was a Child of the King...I was royalty...couldn't I get just a little special treatment?

There was a situation with a neighbor that we became good friends with, we had dinner at their house, they at ours, kids played together daily, I went to the doctor with her, held her hand and talked about going on a vacation together. We had sold them a house 3 years prior to this. Then out of the clear blue...she quit speaking to us...we asked what was wrong...no reply. Her husband wasn't allowed to talk to us either. We thought it was because we had our house up for sale and were moving again. We had sold them our first home together, built a house that ended up being too big for us...too much time maintaining it and the yard...we never had time to do anything as a family anymore...we were either cleaning the house, working in the yard or working to pay for it...it got to where it wasn't any fun anymore...all our blood, sweat and tear...we had subcontracted and build it ourselves...it wasn't worth it anymore. We sold it and bought the house that was next door to our first home because it was going through foreclosure and a great deal. However, after about 1 1/2 years...it was way too small. So...we put it up for sale and were moving back to the subdivision that we originally built in...to a house that was in between the size of the two houses. They had their's up for sale and it didn't sell plus there were some family issues going on and they really wanted to move. It just wasn't happening. We thought they were angry with us because our house was selling again and we were moving. We always had great luck selling our houses...the 1st one...sold and it wasn't on the market yet, the big house sold within two weeks on the market and this house sold within 2 months on the market.

We heard rumors as to what the problem was but nothing concrete. We moved January 3rd, 2003 and didn't have any further contact with our former neighbors/friends. On July 4th, 2003 at straight noon...we had a knock on our door just as we were headed out to a friends get together to celebrate the 4th of July. We were served with a lawsuit! Happy 4th of July!!!!

Needless to say, I was sick to my stomach and the battle was just beginning. They (former neighbor/friends) were suing us for the house that we sold them in May 1999...4 years before. They were grasping for straws...looking for a quick fix to their's not selling and revenge for what....we still don't know. Their statement was that when they got through with us and two realtors...they would have the biggest house in C********* County.

Anyway, now add fear and anxiety to the anger and depression. I was a big mess now. My mind was running in all kinds of directions...what if this, what if that. They were suing the realtor who represented us and the realtor that represented them plus us. Lies, lies and more lies.

They sad thing about our wonderful country....anyone can sue anyone for anything and YOU have to pay to defend yourselves. Unlike, Canada...if you file a frivolous lawsuit and lose...you have to pay the other parties attorney's fees and court cost....NOT IN THE GOOD OLE USA! If we had a law like that...there wouldn't be all the lawsuits that plague our country nor would we have to watch all the attorney commercials on television.

This lawsuit lasted from start to finish....4 different court dates, lots of documentation, many, many hours of research (me and one of the other realtors...did most of our attorney's work for them) and 3 years...the price tag for something like this...$12,000.+. I worked at my job for 3 years to pay for our attorney. If you don't think that will add to your anger....think again. For what???? Nothing! I will talk more about the events of this 3 years in a later entry.

I was boiling on the inside one minute, full of rage then I would be in knots with fear and anxiety. I couldn't help but think what would happen if they won...how would be manage financially, how could we look people in the face in our small town and where is the justice in our system because we knew that we hadn't done anything wrong but innocent people are found guilty everyday.

Next Entry: The Total Forgiveness