Feelings vs. Truth

In my absence from the blogging world these past week or so, I have been under a great deal of stress with things that are completely out of our control. However, even when we know that they are out of our control...they can still take control of us.

As hard I fought against the stress of the situations, the discouragement and minor depression began to creep in. Add the fact that we didn't see sunshine in Arkansas for over 2 weeks due to rain, rain, rain and very dark, dreary days...my mood was getting very dark.

When I get this way, I don't want to talk to anyone but of course, life continue to move on whether you do or not. You will be put in places and situations that you HAVE to put on a "happy face", smile, talk, laugh and act like all is well with the world...when in fact...IT ISN'T. I find myself doing this and hiding behind a "happy face" so the world doesn't know my business.

If you have never allowed a situation of life to control you, discourage you or cause you to enter into some level of depression...then, you might take your loved ones actions personal when they are not meant to be. When we are with our loved ones, our family, in our own home...we tend to be ourselves without the phony facade. If your loved ones don't understand what you are going through...they might be offended by your actions or lack of.

By Friday, I wasn't smiling but functioning day by day. When I was alone, I was deep in thought and the war was raging in my mind between what I was "feeling" and the truth.

I went to Jonesboro to take my oldest son, Brandon, his jacket and shirt he left at the house earlier in the week and this gave me plenty of time alone to just think.

During this entire "dry" time in my life, I have filled my mind with praise and worship music, prayer and some reading of the Word. I can't focus very well during this time to spend much time reading...so, I don't. I would go to bed at night with my iPod playing through my headphones...filling my sleep with praise and worship music. However, I would wake up the next day in the same "funk" as I went to sleep in.

Driving back from Jonesboro, I had a notebook with me, so I wrote down words that described how I was "feeling" that very moment. I started to scan the page and post it but too lazy to go do it...so, here is what I wrote down. As I was writing the words down on the left side of the page of how I was feeling, my thoughts would immediately go opposite and I wrote these down on the right side of the page.

Physical vs. Spiritual...Feelings vs. Truth

Beat down / My joy comes from the Lord

Great sadness / My hope is in Him

Overwhelmed / I put my trust in Him

Defeated / When I am weak, He is strong

Angry / Be angry and sin not

Hurt

Anxious / Be anxious about nothing

Minor Depression / I am more than a conqueror

Doubtful / Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean
not unto your own understanding

Tired & Drained / I will give you rest

Alone / I will never leave you nor forsake you

Emotionally dry / He is the fountain of living water

As my flesh was screaming out my weaknesses, my spirit was screaming out the Truth...God's Word.

Did I immediately feel better? No!

I sought the advice of a very dear friend, wise counsel, godly person that afternoon and they confirmed what I already knew. That there will be times in our lives that we go through dry spells, when we feel alone, that God is not there, when our prayers aren't being heard, when we feel there is no hope for our situation BUT, that is not the TRUTH. The truth is...God is actively working in my life, my family, my situation and He is still right there by my side and at times, He is carrying me when I am to weary to walk on my own.

This time, I didn't feel that my prayers weren't being answered or that God wasn't there with me but, I knew I was in a dry season. This is the biggest difference that I've seen in this time and other attacks from the enemy in the past.

It was confirmed to me that I knew the truth and I was refusing to buy into the lies of the enemy during this period of my life. Now, I just have to wait until my flesh grabs a hold of the truth.

By the way, I am feeling much better starting on Saturday. I still have my "quiet" moments but the joy of the Lord is returning to my flesh.

Nehemiah 8:10b
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

II Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Psalm 39:7
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Hebrews 13:5b
God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

John 7:38
Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Please pray for me as the stress has begun to affect my heart again. It is skipping beats more frequently and makes me tired easily.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Have a wonderfully blessed day!