Good Wife/Bad Wife

All little girls dream of growing up, getting married and living happily ever after. As little girls, we imagine what it will be like to be a wife and a mother. If we could get what we dream of...we would never fight with our husband, never nag, complain, whine and we would live fairytale lives.

Being married for 5 1/2 years and divorced before I turned 24 years old...well, means that I didn't get to live out my fairytale life, now does it?

It definitely wasn't a marriage without fighting. I am not sure how much nagging there was but I remember doing a lot of begging in those days. I would beg my husband to stay at home at night with me, love me and make me feel special. I left that marriage feeling defeated, like a failure and like I didn't deserve to be happy and loved.

We serve a God of second chances and I was granted another chance at living happily ever after.

God blessed me with a wonderful husband that was exactly what I was praying for...he met every desire that I had wanted and prayed for in a husband.

Has our marriage be without problems? "No" Have I always been a loving, sweet and kind wife throughout our nearly 18 years of marriage? "No".

We are going through the Love Dare video and workbook in Sunday School. I know for a fact that I have so many area that I need to improve on. The Lord is continually working on me to make the changes that He wants to see in me as a wife.

What kind of wife are you? The book of Proverbs have numerous scriptures referencing being a good wife and a bad wife. I know from time to time (probably more than I want to admit) I have fallen into the catagory of a bad wife. I am including a few verses on both the good and the bad.

Good Wife
Proverbs 19:14
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD

Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Bad Wife
Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.

Proverbs 21:19
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

Proverbs 25:24
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

I have been guilty of being quarrelsome and ill-tempered which is not pleasing to Jesus Christ.

Dear Heavenly Father:
You see my heart today and the love that I have for Roger. I know that I haven't always been the best wife to him and for that, I ask you to forgive me. Help me to always remember that Roger is a gift from you to me and a second chance to be happily married. Help me, Lord to honor, respect, love, nurture and encourage him all the days of his life as you have instructed me to do. I ask that you continue to bless the our marriage for the rest of our lives and as we grow old together to never lose focus of the precious gift we are to each other. Lord, I want to be a good wife in your eyes and in Roger's. I want to be pleasing to you, Lord and my wonderful husband.

Ecclesiastes 9:9
Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift. It's all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one!

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

CREATE in my marriage?

Yesterday, Pastor Rusty preached on "God created" and had us think about what did we want God to CREATE in us this year. He blogged about it this morning on his site...check it out here.

When we got in Sunday School...he proposed the same question to our "Marriage Building" class except, the question was "what do you want to see God to CREATE in your marriage this year?"

He gave us an acrostic to get us thinking and we shared what we wanted God to do in our marriages this year. Many of ours were alike on certain letters but others...were very different. I guess, mine was different on a couple of letters because of our age, number of years we've been married and the age and number of children at home. Most, everyone else with the exception of a few other couples, have younger children or no children yet. Many in our class have been married for a good number of years but their children are younger and/or they have several children still at home.

I wanted to share what my heart's desire for God to CREATE in my marriage in 2009. I cheated a little bit...some of mine have two things on them. :-)

Communication, more free time to
Recreation time to do things together, romance and relaxing together
Exploring new options for our finances and retirement and exercise together
Alone time - date night in the midst of two jobs and other obligations
Tolerance-not get stressed and frustrated as easy with my husband
Excitement about growing old together and our upcoming empty nest in 3 years.

These might not sound "spiritual", in comparison to what others wrote down, but I have to really work on some of these areas. Due to my uptight nature, lack of available time and dreading my son growing up and leaving home...some are huge struggles for me. The thought of my nest being empty is very hard for me and I have a very heavy heart in this area.

Just a glimpse into my heart today.

I have been overwhelmed with a lot of things lately and haven't had the time to blog like my heart longs to, but I'm praying for structure, organized time and be able to pour out so much that is on my heart to share with you guys in 2009. I've missed you all.

Have a wonderfully blessed day!