I have heard it said many times about someone..."she/he is heartless, she/he doesn't have a heart or she/he is just cold hearted". There have been times in my life that I have had to make decisions that seemed and even felt heartless but I found out yesterday that I have a heart, even if it isn't working right.
I have been having some problems with my heart for several months...I say it is "skipping" a beat. Technically, it is not actually skipping but doing things that I don't completely understand right now. I have found some great website that is helping me to understand., though.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
It would "skip" a beat when I was stressed, on certain cold medicines or sick but then it would go away...until the next time. However, over the past 4-5 months...it has started doing it more days that it didn't. I attributed it to be stressed at my job and all that goes along with it. But, lately, I've noticed that it does it even when I'm not working. I have reduced my hours from 40 hours a week to 20 hours a week for other reasons than my heart. Even though, I thought this would also benefit my heart as well, but it hasn't.
The past 2-3 weeks, it has been beating 2 beats and then "skipping" 1 beat...so every 3rd beat...it was messing up. There would be periods of time that it would beat regular for long stretch of time and then go back to beating irregularly.
We have a huge deductible on our insurance and being that I haven't meet any of it this year and it is the end of 2009...I didn't want to "burn" that kind of money. Our deductible starts all over January 1st, 2010...we don't have a 3 month carryover like some old policies used to. It is coming up on the Christmas season, money is already tight, I'm working half the hours that I have been working and I just couldn't afford to be out that kind of money right now. So, I've tried to hold off on going to the doctor until the first of the year.
Well, yesterday it was doing it constantly while I was at my desk working and I couldn't handle it anymore. I stopped what I was doing and went to our local walk-in clinic to see the nurse practitioner, Debbie. We had talked about it before when I was sick but it wouldn't do it while she was listening.
Yesterday, I prayed as I drove to the clinic that it would "act up" for her and she could hear what it was doing. It did it right on cue for her and she immediately ordered an EKG to record it before it stopped, which it never stopped doing it.
She explained it as irregular heartbeat with PVC (premature ventricular contractions) or extra heartbeat in the lower chambers of the heart. She said that when it is in the 2 upper chambers of the heart, it was normally caused by caffeine or nicotine. But, when it is the lower chambers of the heart, then it warranted investigating. I have done a lot of research since yesterday and unless, I have an underlying heart condition that I don't know about...this should be a minor situation but we will not know this for sure until further monitoring and testing.
She referred me to a renowned specialist. Dr. Porterfield, in electrophisiology and cardiology. I had asked her about a certain, highly recommended cardiac group in Memphis but she said that since this was the electrical make-up of the heart that the cardiac group would refer me out to this doctor anyway. She was trying to help avoid extra cost, testing and get an answer faster for my peace of mind.
Dr. Porterfield's office called me yesterday and got all my information from me. The originally had my appointment set for November 18th but after explaining our insurance situation to her. She said that she wanted to put me on hold and see if there was something else she could do for me. When she returned to the phone, she had discussed with Dr. P my history and physical information, symptoms, why I was referred and the EKG strips that I had done that morning, plus, she explained the insurance situation to him. She told him that I wanted to find out what is wrong with my heart but as cheaply as possible.
He ordered a 30 day "Event" monitor for me to wear at home. I will wear it only when I am at home and every time I feel an episode...I push a button and it will record and perform an EKG for 2-3 minutes. Then I have to call the nurse with the monitoring company, answer a few questions, transmit the readings to her. She will then, send the EKG to Dr. P's office for him to review. I have to do this every time it happens.
This is where I am struggling with this solution...it happens all day long and I will spend all day on the phone. Hopefully, after a few repeated episodes, they can change up the way or the number of times that I have to call and transmit.
My new appointment is December 16th. I was so thankful that Dr. P was willing to work with me on this. That said a lot to me about him and his office. If he were a greedy and/or if her were a uncompassionate person...he would have said "no, she needs to come in now and let us run all these test to see what is really going on"...but, he didn't.
I am trusting God with all my heart and my heart is in His hands. If he knows the number of hairs on my head (that keeps Him busy enough...I lose a floor full every morning) then this didn't catch Him off guard or by surprise.
And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail--even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk. You're worth more than a million canaries. (Message)
Regardless, of what happens with my heart today, this month, next month or next year...my hope and trust is in the Lord. Whatever comes my way...I will praise Him and thank Him for it. Nothing happens by chance and everything happens for a reason. I want to get all that I can out of this situation for my life. I want to live today like there will be no tomorrow because there might not be for any of us. And when it is my time to depart this earth...I am glory bound!
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
I would never want to leave my family but nothing compares to the glory and splendor of Heaven and being in the very presence of God Himself! I am ready...are you?
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Have a wonderfully blessed day!