Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Have you ever needed someone to talk to because something was bothering you? You needed someone to confide in? Have you ever needed someone that you could trust to listen, offer good, sound advice but most of all...keep your secret? I would think that we all have from time to time in our lives.

Just as I am sure that we all have been "burned" by a "friend" who went and blabbed our "secret" to someone else. We were hurt, humiliated, angry, left feeling vulnerable, violated and lonely.

As I have been reading and studying God's Word...God holds us to a very high standard. One that tells us to keep our mouths shut, watch what we say and to whom we say it to, keep our confidences and be people of integrity, choose our words carefully and to realize the power of the tongue...we can either help and heal or destroy and kill...JUST WITH OUR MOUTHS AND THE WORDS THAT WE ALLOW TO COME OUT OF IT! Wow...can we say....SELF CONTROL?

Proverbs 18:21
What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words. (Good News)

The Bible is full of scriptures on our mouths, tongue, words...what to speak and what not to speak. God felt it was a very important lesson for us to learn...have we? Let's look at a few more verses.

Proverbs 11:2,3
(2)People who are proud will soon be disgraced. It is wiser to be modest. (3) If you are good, you are guided by honesty. People who can't be trusted are destroyed by their own dishonesty. (Good News)

Proverbs 11:12,13
(12)It is foolish to speak scornfully of others. If you are smart, you will keep quiet. (13) No one who gossips can be trusted with a secret, but you can put confidence in someone who is trustworthy. (Good News)

Proverbs 12:18
Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal. (Good News)

Psalms 39: 1
I said, "I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue; I will keep a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence." (New Revised Standard)

James 1:26
Do any of you think you are religious? If you do not control your tongue, your religion is worthless and you deceive yourself. (Good News)

We need to constantly be thinking about what is going to come out of our mouths BEFORE it comes out! I am a guilty as the next person of opening my mouth and inserting my foot...all the way up to my hip...but I have become more and more aware of my thoughts that I allow to become formed into words before they exit my mouth. I don't want to be guilty of my words cutting or to maim another person, a family member, my spouse, my child, my friend or someone who needed me to be there for them and to help them by encouraging them or lifting them up...not tearing them down. This can be done directly in our words we speak to them or by what we say behind their back...gossip, betrayal of their trust...

I looked up "maim" in my thesaurus and these are some other words that might bring a newer, more visual meaning to that word:

  • batter
  • cripple
  • deface
  • disable
  • disfigure
  • injure
  • lacerate
  • mangle
  • maul
  • massacre
  • mutilate

Do you want to be guilty of doing this to another person? I certainly don't. Let's all make a commitment today to watch our words carefully BEFORE they come out of our mouths. Put your brain in gear before you put your mouth in gear! Also, to be a trustworthy friend to someone to confides in you. Your betrayal can do as much damage if not more to that person when you break that confidence than if you were to speak nasty, mean words directly to their face. You might cause more damage because you will have destroyed their trust in you and possibly others they would have confided in...in the future. Sometimes, we will never know the damage that our words and actions have on the other person because they may never let you know...but the damage is still very much alive and real to them...it runs very deep too.

I have to say that God has blessed me with a number of awesome, trustworthy friends that I can go to in a time of need...some just listen and let me talk, others offer advice, some just give you a hug and tell you that they love you and are praying for you. Each one is unique and I am tremendously blessed to have each one of you in my life....thanks for being the type of friend that God has called you to be.


  1. Great words of encouragement today Jen. I am blessed to have awesome friends and it is my prayer that I will be the kind of friend that will always be kind, loyal and trustworthy. Earlier this week I wrote a devotion on my blog about this very thing...being a loyal friend (FRIEND OR FOE) - hope you had time to check it out.

    You are an awesome friend and I am thankful for you. -love, Laurie

  2. Hey Laurie!
    I did read your blog from this week and thought it was excellent. Friends...has been a topic of conversation in our home for a couple of months, Glenda spoke about it in Sunday School 2 weeks ago, your blog earlier week and now today...what the Lord laid on my heart. Do you think He is trying to tell us something that we just are getting fully sometimes?

    You are one of the ones that I was referring to. I treasure and value your friendship more than you will ever know. You are the true definition of FRIEND. Thanks for being my friend!


  3. This is an awesome post- several months ago, I was prompted to write about gossip because of situations in my life.

    This is very good, Jennifer...thank you for sharing :)

  4. Jennifer, thanks for the reminder. What a great post. You have challenged me, and I choose to allow God's Word to change me. Thanks for all you do! Blessings!

    Pastor Rusty


Thank you for stopping by today and sharing your heart felt thoughts with me. As we ride "Through the Storms of Life" together, chances are...your situation is different than mine. However, we serve the same awesome God, King of Kings who is in complete control and it all belongs to Him anyway...He wants to give you the very best. Be encouraged my friend, God loves you!

Thank you again for taking the time to visit me at "Through the Storms of Life".


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