You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
I spent most of Monday and Monday night...picking up the pieces of my life and a shattered Christian testimony.
I admit that last week was one of the most trying weeks that I've had in a long time. I must have been "way" out of practice because I failed miserably.
It started with a disgruntled spirit and when that wasn't dealt with...it grew and festered. That disgruntled spirit was just the cultivated ground for more bad seeds to be sown.
As the week went on and my sins were allowed to grow...I choose not to deal with them because I was in such a bad mood, I was in the middle of a storm, didn't take cover but just keep walking into the middle of it...things got worse.
On Wednesday, we received bad news about a situation that was totally out of our control but yet, it made mef eel helpless all the more. That sent me scrambling for a plan and answers.
By Thursday, I was at a boiling point and the final straw was place on my pile of garage and then...it all came crashing down...after it exploded all over certain people. I totally lost all control.
Friday, we were well on our way to a plan of action to help with one situation and little did we know but that plan will be the answer to many other areas of our lives that our hearts have longed for. (But, you couldn't have told me that right then and had me believe it). I was still so confused on which plan to choose because they all looked good, sounded good.
You would think that it stopped there but it didn't. I allowed it to push me into a state of depression and I didn't want to talk to anyone...PERIOD...not even, God. I allowed it to torment me all weekend and cause a huge amount of friction between the only one that I have in my corner except for God and that is my hubby. We were at war with each other...rather, I was at war and he was just on the battlefield because he never gets upset...which, makes me even madder. lol
Monday, here came another straw adding back to the already unstable pile and another tremor erupted. The tremors continued all day and all night.
I couldn't sleep that night because I was angry, depressed, hurt, searching for answers to a situation that came to us in the middle of all this mess...I needed peace and answers.
I spent Monday night from 12 AM - 6 AM working at my desk for my job, listening to my praise and worship music and praying.
When you apply the Word of God to every situation...the right plan become crystal clear. You can't ask for God's blessing and deliberately do the opposite of His Will. I knew that all along but I needed a reminder.
I walked away Tuesday morning with the answers that I needed, a submissive spirit about the situation that had arisen and the conflict it was causing with my husband, I had a sense of calm, peace and I knew what I had to do from that moment on.
I had to apology to several people, talk all the details of what God revealed to me during the night to my husband and we came to a complete agreement. I am left to pick up the piece of my shattered testimony and move forward taking a very valuable lesson with me.
We are once again united, at peace and it forced us to step out in blind faith, trusting God that His direction was the only way to go and that He would make a way where there seemed to be no way. In the world's eyes...we would be foolish but God's way is never foolish or wrong.
Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm
In celestial like strains it unceasingly falls
O'er my soul like an infinite calm
Peace, peace, wonderful peace
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!
What a treasure I have in this wonderful peace
Buried deep in the heart of my soul
So secure that no power can mine it away
While the years of eternity roll!
I am resting tonight in this wonderful peace
Resting sweetly in Jesus' control
For I'm kept from all danger by night and by day
And His glory is flooding my soul!
And I think when I rise to that city of peace
Where the Author of peace I shall see
That one strain of the song which the ransomed will sing
In that heavenly kingdom will be
Ah, soul! are you here without comfort and rest
Marching down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your Friend ere the shadows grow dark & accept of this peace so sublime!
**Life is good when you listen to the voice of Jesus whispering in your ear, heart and spirit. And, stepping our in blind faith is both scary and exhilarating!**
Have a wonderfully blessed day!