~Hello~

Well, hello bloggy world! Yeah, I know...it's been a long, long time since I've posted on here. However, this morning as I watched the sunrise across my backyard in Arkansas, I began to think how blessed I am to live to see another day when so many don't. With each new day brings joy knowing I'm here to praise my Lord & Savior but also brings sadness & a stab of pain to my heart knowing that we are quickly approaching my baby boy's high school graduation. Yes, believe it or not...Tyler will be graduating high school on May 18th, 2012. I've had a rough time of it to say the least.

From August to December was a whirlwind of scholarship applications, college applications, housing applications, essays & deadlines. We managed to survive it all!

I can proudly say that Tyler was accepted as a freshman to the University of Arkansas for the Fall of 2012 & also received the Chancellor Scholarship as well.

Needless to say, between the scholarship & our Arkansas Challenge Scholarship (lottery)...we will still be about $5,000 short every year in paying for his tuition. It has frustrated me greatly that there isn't much in the way of scholarship for smart "white" kids. What I mean by that is...he is not any form of a minority...not American, American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian Pacific Islander American, and Hispanic American! It really makes me angry that a student with an ACT score of 30, a 4.0 unweighted GPA & taking all AP courses...has to compete for every dollar he gets because of his race. The above list is from Bill Gates scholarship application website.

Add this frustration with the emotions of "losing" my baby boy in just a few short months = emotional roller coaster for this mom!

Tyler and I are extremely close and the thought of him not being here everyday to talk to, hear all about school, who did what and enjoying every second of the quality time that we spend together...breaks my heart. I have spent many, many days sitting at my desk, working in my home office with tears streaming down my face. My heart feels like someone is ripping it out of my chest.

However, I am excited for his future, his hopes & dreams but it will take some getting used to not hearing his voice ringing through the house each and every day.

I am definitely excited about were life is going to lead Roger & I as a couple and all the adventures that we have. I will just have to take one day at a time and God will see me through.

I've talked to several dear friends who have had a child leave home and go off to college. They all said that they cried all the way home & for the first few weeks it would be like mourning a death in the family but after that...it would get easier. I personally am dreading it so bad!

Yesterday, Tyler started his last semester of high school and if it goes as fast as the first semester did...graduation will be here before we know it.

I plan on using my blog to journal through what is an emotional time for me...his Senior year.

I love that boy so very, very much and he will take a huge piece of my heart to college with him in August.



Have a wonderfully blessed day!