Glimpse Into My Life via Old Emails

This post is a continuation or further enlightenment of my last post...Reflections and Blessings From 2008. As I had mentioned in that post, 2007 was the year that nearly broke me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It wasn't just 2007, it was that year plus the 6 years prior that lead up to my near collapse.

I am sharing some emails that transpired between my wonderful friend and pastor's wife, Dorinda, Pastor Rusty and myself. This will give you another glimpse into where I was emotionally and spiritually. This gives a greater meaning to our blessing in 2008...The Year of the Lord's Favor per His promise to me on December 13, 2007.

October 8, 2007 - To Pastor Rusty (most of our communications are via text or meetings)

Please pray for me and Roger....we are about to go to war with each other. We had a big fight on Saturday, tried to put it behind me yesterday but still lingering and got into it again today. I know Satan wants to drive a wedge between us and cause friction with us but we seem to have taken quite a few (huge ones) backwards and I am stressed, frustrated and angry. I have tried all weekend to "shake this viper off into the fire" but reality is that nothing seems to change much. I am so stressed, having panic attacks, frustrated and many more emotions due to the real estate issues. We have one more house to rent and found out last week that two more will be empty at the end of October. One can't pay what she owes this month because she lost her job and the other one is moving and her job messed her check up so her rent will be late. I have paid 3 out of 7 mortgages and there is not anymore money right now. We've tried to talk about it but with our personality differences...I worry and get stressed, where he takes everything with a positive attitude and like it will all take care of itself. I know that I stress more because I see the bills everyday and rob from Peter to pay Paul weekly but he "says" he is worried and stressed and that his words should be enough.

I am overwhelmed with stress and emotions and feel very, very ALONE in this mess.

I need your prayers in a big way.

Thank you for everything...love you guys!
Jennifer

October 9, 2007 - From Pastor Rusty

Good morning Jennifer! I prayed for you yesterday, and did again this morning. How are things going now? Any better? You guys have been faithful to God, now He will be faithful to you. Have you been reading my daily blogs? If not, you need to. I have been talking about HOPE. Love you guys, and pray for you daily!

Pastor Rusty L. Blann

**He shared many more encouraging text messages and words during our weekly counseling sessions**

October 16, 2007 - To Dorinda

All I can tell you is that I can't take anymore. All of this has just about done me in mentally, emotionally, my family, my marriage and now it is taken it's toil on me spiritually. There is NO PEACE in our lives and it is destroying us day by day. Hard?, is such a "soft & kind" word compared to what we are feeling and going through right now. I just wish I could understand, see what is ahead, but as much as I hate to admit it....my faith is dwindling and I am sick to my stomach with the feeling of throwing up everyday. I cried so long and so hard last night trying to pay my household bills that my eyes are still swollen. There is no answers! We feel completely helpless & screwed except for a miracle.

I thought that I felt defeated during the lawsuit, but I have never felt so defeated in all my life....honestly!

I have felt so much anger and hatred in regards to my life, our finances, our situation and it is spilling over into my family relationship with Tyler (no patience & we have been fighting) and my relationship with Roger. I am losing the will to fight or even care. I just want to quit and run away. I know my few friends are sick of hearing me whine, complain and be so negative but this is how I FEEL. Sorry to also seem to be dumping on you lately.

Thank you for your support and prayer. I would be doomed without them!

Jennifer

October 17, 2007 - From Dorinda

Jennifer,
that's what friends are for. I just want you to know more than anything, that God is going to take care of you in the best way for you. Sometimes he just wants to teach us to let go so that He can work His perfect will.

I hope I don't come across as "preachy" - it's just that I believe what I say. I have experienced God's provision so many times it is unbelievable. We have been where you are - maybe not the exact situation, but on the brink of financial doomsday. I can count on a few fingers when He came through in the spectacular. I cannot even begin to count the times He has done things His way(which was a trial to wait on God's timing) and each time we came out better people because of it.

It is when we are at our lowest that God wants us to completely let Him have all of us - our life, our family, our spouse, our children, our finances, our material possessions - we have to be willing to lose it all - and not be bitter because of it.

I shared on my blog about my struggle the night before Taylor was born. I just know that God is not withholding a "financial" miracle just to watch you squirm. You have come so far in your walk with God. John 10:10 says the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but Christ came to give us life and more abundantly. God wants you to have that abundant life and sometimes we have to be pruned (John 15) to have that wonderful abundant life. Pruned as in realizing that we grow more when our total trust is in Him and Him alone.
Hang on- God is never late. He wants what is best for you. He is a good God and He is faithful. If you are tempted to believe otherwise, know where those thoughts are coming from and tell the enemy to leave you alone.

Trust in Him. Lean on Him. Worship Him in spite of your circumstances. Don't be offended at God. Allow His peace to flood your soul.

You are a dear friend. It hurts me to see you hurting like this. Please know I am here for you. I know you would be here for me if I needed anything. I am praying for you with all my heart!
Love you girl! and hang in there!

Dorinda

December 13, 2007 - To Dorinda

Hey!

I am not a Bible scholar and don't read/comprehend very well either...so Bible reading is extremely difficult for me! But, I was searching...flipping page by page through the Bible this morning looking for something to speak to me....I read several verses but nothing...then I
happened upon Isaiah 61. I read it and thought "WOW"...so I immediately texted you & Pastor to ask to see if I could pray or did it make sense/fit to pray Isaiah 61 over 2008. Pastor texted back immediately and said "yes, you can & should pray that over your year....The year of victory for the Woolbrights! I asked him to agree with us...will you join with us?

I love verses 1-4, 7-9 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. vs. 4...restore places long devastated.
vs. 7...instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion (I like that) and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion (there's that phrase again) in their land and everlasting joy will be theirs.

I'm ready to shout! Has the fear, anxiety or depression left yet? No, not completely but I will hold tight to God's unchanging hand.

What do ya think?????

Thank you for being a wonderful friend and prayer warrior...I could not have made it through the past couple of weeks without my friends and pastor lifting me up...I couldn't stand on my own and didn't want to...but you all kept me from falling by your faithful prayers. Please don't stop now...satan should be very afraid...so he is probably getting really geared up now...but he had better look out....I'm on a mission with God by my side.

Love you!!!!
Jenn

December 13, 2007 - From Dorinda

Jennifer!

awesome !
that is amazing...
i haven't been home this morning and my phone was completely dead (because i gave Jordan my charged battery and was charging his in my phone) .....
anyway- last night before i went to bed i was praying for you. i did not hear an audible voice but i knew God was speaking to me to send you an email about the power of praying the word ..... and after talking to you the other day about 2008, Isaiah 61 was on my heart!

any way - here is what went through my head last night as i was praying for you....

Hebrews 4:12 says -
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thought and attitudes of the heart.

The KJV says quick and powerful

The part about the double edged is what I want to get at. On one side it fights the devil. The enemy cowers when we SPEAK the word of God. He knows he cannot begin to battle that power.... It was the spoken word of God that created the universe and that cast the enemy from the portals of heaven to where he is now. The spoken word of God is powerful when fighting the enemy. That is why it is so important to not only read and meditate on God's word but to speak it out loud. The enemy cannot read our minds. He shivers on what he hears out of our mouths.

The other edge of the sword is where the power of meditating and reading God's Word comes in. From one side we fight the enemy- from the other side we clean ourselves up. Rusty's blog on Tuesday I think dealt with that. But God's word penetrates to our soul and spirit and circumcises our heart.... as the Bible says - that just means it helps us to crucify our flesh.

So - when you read Isaiah 61 and you get to verse 7 - that says "instead of their shame my people - Roger and Jennifer Woolbright - will receive a double portion and instead of disgrace Roger and Jennifer will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the lord, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity (robbery of people not paying their rent). In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them! Tell the devil out loud what God's word says. Shout it at him. Then meditate on it every day. This is God's promise to you! I am so glad God gave you this verse before I had a chance to share it with you, because now you know that God promised this Word to YOU.

Throughout the Bible we are told to
meditate on God's Word (think about and repeat over and over again to ourselves)
pray God's Word ( the only way we can be sure to pray according to the will of God)
speak God's Word (like Jesus did when he was tempted to be discouraged - spoke it out loud to satan)

remember also verse 10 in the rough times: I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoice in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.....

Jennifer, God is raising you up to be a warrior. I know you are tired of fighting the emotional and spiritual battles, but I see the warrior spirit in you. God sees time so much different than we do. He is infinite and we see time through our finite beings. Time for God is just like this line below

________________________________________________

He looks down and sees the beginning as well as the ending and all the points in between. He sees your good times and your rough times, but ultimately He sees your rejoicing in heaven for eternity. That is how He works all things for the good of those who love Him.

That is why placing our trust in Him is so vital. Trusting Him when we are tired and worn out. Trusting Him when we feel all is going down the tubes. Trusting Him when we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Simple trust. He has promised you victory - so tomorrow, if it brings worse news than yesterday, you can trust in Him.

The other scripture I have been praying for you and Roger is Psalm 25. The whole chapter deals with asking Him to show His ways and teach His paths. It is my most favorite chapter in the whole Bible. I probably read it about 10 times each week. ( I copied and pasted from http://www.studylight.org/)

Psalm 25 1 F48 To you, O LORD , I lift up my soul; 2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. 3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. 4 Show me your ways, O LORD , teach me your paths; 5 guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. 6 Remember, O LORD , your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. 7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD . 8 Good and upright is the LORD ; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. 9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. 10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. 11 For the sake of your name, O LORD , forgive my iniquity, though it is great. 12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. 13 He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. 14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. 15 My eyes are ever on the LORD , for only he will release my feet from the snare. 16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. 18 Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. 19 See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! 20 Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. 21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you. 22 Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!

okay - I'm done preaching. but i really wanted to share this with you today.
Rusty, just read this and asked me to post this to his blog - taking your name out of course. so if you see it - don't think i just copied and pasted it from Rusty's blog... Ha!

love ya girl! you are a precious friend. i love you dearly and am so thankful you consider me to be your friend.

dorinda

February 15, 2008 - To Dorinda

Subject: I'm Not Forgotten

During my prayer time this morning, I was reflecting on the past few years and all that has transpired, the promise God made me on 12/13/07 of Isaiah 61, the real estate problems and what they are saying about our economy. The fear and anxiety wanted to start creeping in but God reminded me of the song that was played during the Purity Is Power service on that Wednesday night...I have since downloaded it to my computer and listen to it all the time.

I am not forgotten, I am not forgotten , I am not forgotten, God knows my name....He knows my name....light over darkness, strength over weakness, joy over sadness....He knows my name....father to the fatherless, friend to the friendless, hope to the hopeless....He knows my name....I will praise Him....I am wonderfully made.

I began to think about the scripture in His word that talks about He knew me before I was in my mother's womb, He knows the number of hairs on my head, I am not forsaken and He will NEVER leave me. He knows about all my struggles, all my victories....He knew every aspect of my life before my life ever began in my mother's womb over 45 years ago.

Jeremiah 1:5
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Matthew 10:30
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Hebrews 13:5
[Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

He knew that He had blessed me with loving, godly parents who would raise me to love Him, fear Him and serve Him. He knew all about my first marriage, the birth of my son, Brandon, He knew about the details that would lead up to my divorce before my son was two years old and was separated right after his 1st birthday. He promised to be the Father to the fatherless and he was that. He was my provider during those years when on paper my salary and child support would not begin to pay our bills but He provided. I never missed a bill, never was late on a bill, never missed a meal and never borrowed a penny from anyone. He knew all about Roger's marriage and the details that would lead up to his divorce. He heard my prayer when I prayed for a husband who was (1) a Christian, (2) financially stable, (3) good looking and (4) loved my son as much as he loved me. My friends told me that was a "tall" order but there is nothing impossible for God. He provided that also when he sent Roger to me. He knew the promise that He told our pastor at the time to tell me on my birthday in 1989, my 27th birthday...a couple of months after the death of my father (my best friend) that from October 1989 to October 1990 would be the best year of my life. He also knew that from October 1989 to August 1990 would be the worst year of my life up to that point. He heard my cries when I cried out to Him in emotional pain, angry with situations concerning my ex-husband and the anger that boiled inside me and was consuming me, the loneliness I felt raising my son alone and missing my Dad plus just a disastrous year up to that point...it had not been the best year of my life but the worst year of my life. He saw me when I left all my anger toward my ex-husband and the situations revolving around that year at the alter and gave it all to Him that August 1990. He heard me when I told Him that He had promised that this would be the best year of my life and it had been the worst...He only had a couple of months to turn it around. There is nothing impossible for God. A couple of weeks later....I meet Roger Woolbright...the gift from God, the answer to my prayers, a true blessing of the Lord. That was Septeber 2, 1990 and my birthday was October 20th. By my 28th birthday, I was on a trip with Roger in New Orleans and it was truly the best year of my life. God is faithful and He honors all His promises. We were married 5 months later and have been married 17 years next Saturday, February 23rd. God also knew all the attacks the enemy would launch on our family over the past 5 years and the victories that He would provide. He knew that 2007 would be a terrible year for our family but He promised me through His word on December 13th, 2007 that 2008 would be the Year of the Lord's Favor for the Woolbrights....Isaiah 61. This was confirmed to me by Dorinda the following day because God impressed upon her to tell me to read Isaiah 61.

So, I ask myself....what do I have to fear? What do I have to be anxious about? God knows my name, He knows where I am, He knows all about my life....before it began, in the present and in the future. He is a sovereign God...He is in control....He sees over the hills and around the curves...He was with me in all my yesterdays, He is walking with me today and He has already been in all my tomorrows. Nothing is going to happen to me today that God and I can't handle. He sees the big picture and I only see the one right in front of me.

He doesn't matter what happens in my life....God already knows and He already has a plan in place for me and my family.

Just wanted to share this journal entry with you!

Love, Jenn

February 15, 2008 - From Dorinda

wow!

what a powerful word.!!

jennifer,
I want you to really pray about what God wants you to do in lay ministry. I told Glenda this past weekend that watching you grow spiritually has been one of the true joys in ministry.

The class I am teaching on Wednesdays is not just about finding spiritual gifts etc, it is about finding out what God wants each person to do in ministry in the church that brings them joy and inner fulfillment in their lives. I am so passionate about that right now. I want everyone to have the joy of knowing they are finding God's purpose for their life.

You, Jennifer, are a treasure. You are gifted, talented, and passionate about your relationship with Christ. God has something He wants you to do, that YOU are the best qualified at. Only you can know what that is. It doesn't have to be an in front of people kind of thing, but it may be.

Just keep journaling. I - as in Dorinda- not a "God said" thing - would love to see you have a blog. People read my blog, rusty's blog and laurie's, and they say - oh, well, they are in ministry. (they tend to forget we are real people, with real struggles -and real goof ups like everybody else) But for a non- vocational ministry person to have a blog about their walk with Christ and what God is speaking to their heart..... sounds powerful to me. Just something to pray about.

I love you dearly and appreciate your friendship more than you will ever know. I appreciate your honesty with your friends and about your walk with Christ. God has great things in store for you and your family!

dorinda

***And that is where Through The Storms of Life by An Ordinary Christian Woman's Heart was birth.***

GOD IS SO GOOD, FAITHFUL, MERCIFUL AND MIGHTY. THERE IS NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!

Writing my blog has been such a blessing for me! I am so thankful for all of the wonderful friends that I have made and precious ladies that I have met.

I have kept all of these emails on my computer and printed in a notebook because I don't ever want to forget where God has brought us from, what all He has brought us through and the many blessings He has bestowed on our family. It was a rough ride but I wouldn't change a thing because I now seen the spiritual growth in me, as well.

REFINING FIRE...is painful but so necessary to be all the God wants us to be.

I love each and everyone one of you...thanks for making my first year here a blessed one.

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

~Reflections and Blessings From 2008!~

I know this is quite lengthy...but, bear with me...many said they couldn't wait for the more detailed version of my reflections of 2008. I wanted to divide it up in several posts...but it was flowing to good to break it up.

I posted my "brief" reflection of 2008 on my Thankful Thursday post...Looking Back. Now, I want to elaborate on that a little more, ok...a lot more :-)

I have blogged numerous post throughout this year (my first year of blogging, yeah!) of the trial, struggles, battles and sometimes, all out war that took a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual toll on me, my family, my children and my marriage. Only through the grace, mercy and sovereignty of God were we able to endure, survive and have complete victory in each and every attack of the enemy.

God is still working on our behalf, even though, it is now 2009 to continue to bring complete healing in each and every area of our lives.

I said in my post on 1/1/09 that we remained faithful to God and that is the truth. We never stopped loving God, believing that He could intervene, bring victory to the situations that we caving in on top of us and we never stopped attending church, paying our tithes or praying.

Now...let's get one thing straight...I said "we remained faithful"...I didn't say flawless, perfect and without fault.

I battled with major depression and anxiety because of all the attacks that came one right after the other and at times, there would be multiple attacks on top of each other. There were very few people who knew what we were going through during those horrendous years...yes, YEARS! My best friends knew most of the attacks but, we didn't even tell them some of the ones that were so personal until after the victory came. I have to say that there was only one person that knew EVERYTHING...I left no stone left unturned, kept no secrets, exposed every raw, ugly thought, emotion and truth was revealed and confessed in the privacy of his office...that person was my "earthly" savior...sent by God to us in our time of need...Pastor Rusty Blann.

What a man of God, full of wisdom, direction, discernment, my confidant and he is full of compassion and love! If he stilled loved me after all that I told him and didn't judge me...wow, he was a God send and a true man of God!

Pastor Rusty...we owe you so much. We love you with all our heart and appreciate you more that words will ever say or express. You stood by us through it all, you were there on every trial date...all day long, listening and praying, agreeing with us through that 3 year process. But, you have been there for us more than just the lawsuit but you stood with us through every attack of the enemy...helping to lead, guide and direction us through godly wisdom...every step of the way. We can't thank you enough. We love you!

That brings to mind, yet another time when God knew what we (our family) would need more than we did. I won't go into any detail that surrounded Pastor Rusty becoming our pastor but, God knew that I/we would need PR (Pastor Rusty) and no one else in the years to come. I have never confided in a pastor and don't know that I would have ever if it had been anyone other than PR. I am so thankful that God doesn't give us what we want but He gives us what we need.

There were numerous times that I wanted to give up, quit, run away from God and my family...but, God never let go of me...even, when I let go of His hand. When I would realize that I needed God and I couldn't do it on my own...God was right where I walked away from Him...He never moved...He was still standing right there waiting for me to return to Him. These periods of time never lasted long...couple of days to a week.

I learned more and more to cling to Him, depend on Him and dig deep into His Word for every promise I could find to stand on. During the lawsuit, God orchestrated every detail, every delay and ruled and reigned in the judge's heart to make the right decision (even though, she wanted to rule against us so bad). That alone was a 3 year and 5 days battle. Once again, God proved His faithfulness to us. There were times that it seemed like my prayers weren't getting beyond the ceiling. There were many times that I would get angry and frustated with God because they answers were coming...well, at least, I didn't think they were coming...but, they were...in His time and right on time.

With all the attacks of the enemy on my family and within my family...we nearly divorced several times, even to the point that we separated. God restored our marriage and our relationship...we are stronger now than we have ever been in nearly 18 years of marriage.

With the attacks in our family with our son, Brandon, not knowing where he was for 6 months...God moved on his heart to call his little brother on his birthday 3 years ago. We have never been out of contact since. God is still working in that situation that needs divine intervention and only God can do the work that needs to be done. There has been so much healing in my heart, Roger's heart and Brandon's heart toward each other. God is working in Brandon's life and heart right now, whether he knows it or not.

This Christmas was the most enjoyable, precious and happiest time that I can ever remember with Brandon since Roger and I married...18 years ago. Everyday, every week...it was a battle in our home with his biological father instigating so much strife in Brandon toward both of us.

The enemy sets things in motion, but when God intervenes...it blows up in the enemies face and the person who was physically behind it. Brandon hasn't spoken to his father in over 3 years. He finally saw his father for what he was and he has finally seen Roger...his Dad, for the godly, loving father that he is. Brandon has felt so much sorrow for allowing his father to manipulate him all those years and cheating him out of having a real father in his life, but Roger loves him just the same. It wasn't an easy time for any of us, but God is a God of restoration. He is working to bring complete healing in every area of our relationship and in Brandon's life. This Christmas was a testimony of God's faithfulness. What a story that will be when it is completed!

As most of you know, my mother broke her hip, December 16th and I have quoted what she has said several times about her "accident". She says that Christians don't have accidents because God know what is going to happen and He allows it for a reason. She says that He knew that morning when she got up that she would fall out the back door on the ice.

I hadn't ever really thought about it before but I can testify today that...I am a complete, 100% believer in that statement...it just might become my new quote...my famous quote...from my mom!

During these many years of "torture"...I became increasing distance from one of my sisters and 2 years ago...we became completely estranged. During the past couple of years, I haven't spoken to her except on Thanksgiving and Christmas...we were polite but it was nothing like we used to be. She used to be my best friend. I have mourned the loss of our relationship for a long time now...even, before the events of 2 years ago.

I was determined to forgive, not be angry and to pray for my sister and her family. It was during my mother's hospital stay that she came to see my mom from out of town...she was here for several days. We were placed in a situation to be around each other. I am one who would rather avoid a person than have a confrontation with them. I wasn't given the opportunity any long to avoid her. We spent several days together in the hospital room, talking, eating together, she walked me to my car late one night so I wouldn't have to go out alone and I drove her back around to the front entrance of the hospital..it felt like old times. Christians don't have accidents...God is a God of restoration...and I have my sister back. I can't type this for crying...what a Christmas gift this was along with all the other blessings He has given us this year. (I talked to her for 2 hours last night on the phone...something, I haven't done in over 18 years...talked that long, that is)

We were battling with our investment property business going under and taking us down with it financially. God provided a way out for us in this too. It wasn't the way that we had been praying for but if it is God's way...then, it is the only way.

As I said in my post on 1/1/09, God gave me the promise of Isaiah 61...The Year of the Lord's Favor for our household for 2008.

We were believing for several things in 2008, they were:

• Financial Peace: Done...Roger and I neither one have missed a check this year
• Roger's Job Situation: Done...God gave him a job 4 miles from home working for a wonderful Christian man, who isn't afraid to quote scripture and tell his employees about Christ.
• Brandon's Deliverance: In The Process...we have seen so much change...completion is just around the corner
• Restoration In Relationships: Done...I have my son and I have my sister back
• Real Estate: In The Process...will be completely out of it by end of 2009

2008 has truly been one of the best years of my life...only through Jesus Christ was this possible.

I am going to post the emails that Dorinda and I exchanged one year ago...December 13th, 2007 that confirmed my own personal, special delivery...Promise From My Heavenly Father...Isaiah 61 next.

Hope everyone is still awake :-)

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Do Not Lose Heart

2 Corinthians 4:16

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. (The Message)

I love how the Message Bible puts this verse..."not a day goes by without his unfolding grace"!

Wow!!!

Each one of has experienced trials and troubles in our lives and in our families...if you are alive and breathing...you have been there. So many times, we feel like we can't go on, can't put one foot in front of the other, can't utter another prayer, can't get out of bed and/or just don't want to.

We have felt at times...Why should I keep trying? Why should I care anymore? Does anyone even see that I am hurting or do they even care?

Can you relate to one of these times in your life? You might have experienced more than one...I know that I have.

• If you are having financial troubles, setbacks...it is not the end.
• If you have been lied to and deceived...it is not the end.
• If you have lost your job...it is not the end.
• If you have lost your home...it is not the end.
• If you have been a victim of robbery, identity thief, home invasion...it is not the end.
• If you have a child who is entangled in sin...wrong relationships, failing according to life's standards, refusing to communicate with you or your family, on drugs and/or alcohol or involved in homosexuality...it is not the end.
• If you spouse has walked away from your marriage, chosen someone else over you...it is not the end.
• If you have lost a loved one to death...whether it is a sudden death, suicide or a long illness...it is not the end.
• If you have been in jail or a family member is in jail...it is not the end.
• If you or your family member committed a horrible crime...it is not the end.
• If you have lost or are losing your sight, hearing or even a limb...it is not the end.
• If you have a disabling illness or disease...it is not the end.
• If you are in the depths of depression, battling depression or chemical imbalance that is affecting your way of thinking, feeling, reacting and your relationships...it is not the end.
• If you have learned that you have a terminal illness...it is not the end.
• If you have done things in your life...past or present when you acted foolishly and are mortified by what you did...it is not the end.
• If you are nearing death's door...it is not the end.

It might seem like the end, you might wish it were the end...BUT it is not the end because God is God, He is in control and the end has not come yet...not until God says "this is the end".

We must have faith in our Heavenly Father, trust Him in ALL things and lean on Him completely.

Hebrew 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

I don't know who this is for today but I felt that someone needed to hear this. Be blessed today and you trust in Him.

Itty Bitty, Tiny...From His Perspective

You have learned so many different things over the course of your life, you have been taught so much in Sunday School, Children's Church and in "big" church...but...sometimes God turns on the light bulb...just a little brighter for some and 200+ watts brighter for others (like me).

I was praying and asking God to speak to me again through His word because of some situations that we were going through that we completely out of our control. I felt the Lord remind me of where we were last year and what He promised me back then, still applies today.

Last year, 2007, was one of the worst years...it was a year full of financial attacks of the enemy, job related stresses, no family time, investment property issues, deadbeat tenants and so much more.

During those times, I felt like I was lost in the sea of stress...bobbing up and down and each time I come up....seemed like the enemy pushed us back down with another attack. I would only have enough time to grab a quick breath of fresh air and then it was down under again.

This was an ongoing thing over the past several years. The enemy tried to beat me up, make me blame myself and/or my husband, tell me the best thing to do was to just run away...leave it all behind and go. The darkness would sweep in like a fog, only it was very black and oh, so lonely.

On December 18th, 2007, I started looking again in Isaiah because God really spoke to me the week before in Isaiah 61. I stopped and started in several places...reading a few scripture in this chapter and then in that chapter. I turned to the back of my old Bible, my old faithful, King James version from childhood....there was a note that I had written one that said "Be renewed...Tap into God's strength...Isaiah 40:28-31. I read 28-31 and then went back to read the entire chapter.

Isaiah 40:28-31
(28) Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. (29) He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. (30)Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; (31) but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (NIV)

I got to verse 10 and 11...I thought about God going before me, his provision for my needs and his protection as my shepherd. Wow! But then, I got to verse 12 and it hit me hard! I read it over and over...I continued reading the chapter but my eyes were repeatedly drawn back to verse 12.

(10) See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. (11)He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Verse 12:
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?

I began to think about that and meditate on that one verse....then other verses came to my mind:

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 18:35
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.

Psalm 138:7
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

Psalm 139:10
...even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

I began to thank God when I think about the awesome size of his hands...(really, I can't even begin to comprehend it) and the size of my problems. He goes on to say in the verses that follow different comparisons of things we can understand (ie. mountains, dust, nations) to the size of His hand...like in verse 15...

Isaiah 40:15
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they are fine dust.

He weighs the islands as though they were fine dust....WOW! If the islands are "as fine dust in his hands....then my problems are so tiny that you couldn't even see them with a microscope. All that brought the assurance that NOTHING IS TOO BIG FOR GOD, that nothing is impossible for God and he holds me in the palm of His mighty hand because I am His child and with Him...we will make it!

He reaffirmed to me today that if He said it in the Bible, confirmed it to me in December '07, then it was just as good today as it was then. He let me know that I can REST in Him, for He will take care of me and my family. He will do the same for you!